Back to the blog

I seem to have stepped out of the blogosphere for sometime. I am back now.

So here is what has been going on...In the past 7 months my wife and I have been trying to create a little Nowak, seriously no breaks. Unfortuately, we found out that she has PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and I have POS or Poor Old Sperm. Basically, our chances of pregnancy are 50/50 when we are optomistic and when we feel pesimistic we have a better chance of eating dinner on the moon's surface.

I just feel so badly for my wife...She has to take these hormones and go through all these tests to figure out what is going on and I have to hand the Doc a cup. On top of all this we work opposite schedules with her on PM shifts and me selling cases of wine and liquor for the drunks in Milwaukee during the daytime. By the way, we are a deeply in love married couple but enough already.

I am just feeling really negative right now and kind of pissed about everything. I don't understand God and who does, but aren't we supposed to ask for understanding? I would like for my wife and I to understand and be at peace with not understanding God's plan. I need to just mentally check out for awhile and just see this all for what it is. A Test.

The funny thing is is that after the past 4 years of reconversion to Catholicism I thougt that I could handle whatever came my way. This however is out of my hands. Very humbling. This is like the essay part of the Test and I am trying to form some sort of B.S. that the teacher will go for, but this teacher is well aware of my B.S. techniques. So what do you do...wait on the Lord.

The truth is when I look at our life we have it better than 99.9% of the world, so how can I really be pissed.